I was angry and mad. I had to work full time in my new job. That was not what I had in mind. I wanted to have more time to do my creative work. Instead I spend my time giving support for some cloud services. I wasn’t even an expert on this topic. And I know myself: I would lean fully into it. The next six month I would give everything to learn and understand these issues. That will drag my away from writing and photography.
My mindfuck scenario was: I will have no time for myself. My job will take all the time and energy. I won’t be able to do what I enjoy and love the most.
After I had pouted enough a new thought came into my head. What if I would use my experiences as material for my writing. I could put it into a book like: 365 Ways Office Dont Work. It is a complex tool and people find crazy ways to use it.
Or Communication Breakdown. I report on the pitfalls of modern communication. We are short messeging each other, but we miss so much information in that and we are not aware of that. We interpretate what we read and take our interpretation for the truth. But even in a face to face communication we misunderstand each other. So how could we understand each other in a chat?
My wife told me: Everything coalesce your job, your writing your coaching. Everything is one.
Suddenly I realesed what that means.
The idea was simple: I get an easy job that pays my bills. Then I will have the freedom to be creative without the pressure of making a living of my art.
So far so good.
I was lucky, there were plenty of job offers. Everybody seems to do an online business but still they need someone who can talk to their customers. And that would be me. For almost every application I send I got invited for an interview or at least a telephone interview. One company invited me even to a get-to-know-day: They presented themselves and I had the opportunity to watch a colleague over his shoulder during his work. In the lunch break I took a little walk. Every cell in my body screamed: “I don’t want to work here!”
I tried to tell myself: Be cool. The payment is good and the working hours are fine.
In the end I didn’t get the job. We agreed on that I was overqualified.
What have I learned from this time?
First of all: I don’t have to be afraid that I won’t have a job and an income. This is a great relief for me. I kept this fear for far to long. The next is that I can feel comfortable with saying to conditions that don’t suit me. I learned to appreciate my abilities and knowledge. And I listened to my intuition.
In the end I got a job which is quite of a challenge for me again. But that is fine. It won’t get boring this way.
… than setting goals
On the surface wishes and goals are about the same: I think of the future and imagine an situation that I would like t achieve: Something I don’t have and I like to have or something that I have but I don’t want it (like losing weight or finishing a novel)
But the way I find my wish is completely different from how I set a goal. Setting goals is something that I create in my head. It feels like something from outside of me.
If I make a wish I feel connected with myself. It is like a journey to my inner self. I think about what is my true nature – what is my purpose. How can I live that to its full potential?
Golas should be SMART:
- Time framed
When I make a wish the important aspects are different:
- I think about which knowledge, which power, which abilities I already have to fulfill the wish
- What am I willing to give to fulfill the wish
- How do I feel when that wish come true. Who I would be then, how my world would change.
Pursuing goals I have a problem with my motivation. It is no fun! And I need something to reward myself afterward.
When a wish comes true the reward is part of the process itself. I become more myself and I do life more authenticly. Automatically I am a happier person then .