My first shooting experience with a model was great. I wanted to take my photography on the next level. I love to take pictures of people but in the past I shot people secretly – too afraid to ask them for their permission.
I signed in a website for models and photographers and asked three women if the like to shoot with me.
One answered immediately and the results of the shooting were amazing. When the second model answered I was amazed how easy it is to connect and agree on a shooting.
But this time it was a completely different situation. We had trouble to agree on a date. Three times we had to postpone the shooting. In the end it didn’t happen.
Maybe I was a little naiv. I thought it is only about taking pictures. Baut if you are interacting with other people other factors play a role also.
As I am new on the site, I don’t have any credits. Also I am an older guy asking a pretty young woman for a date. They might feel flattered, that might be insecure, they might have heart of some bad experiences.
So many possibilities I was not aware of. And I never will. Which is good in the end. If I had conidered all of this before I wouldn’T dare to ask any of them.
It started as a joke. Raphaela and I had a hot chocolate at the lovely Kater und Goldfisch in Berlin-Wedding. After finishing I asked her to read the tea leaves. She looked at what was left of the homemade chocolate and explained:
“I see several streams that run parallel. Like rivers. They are in rocks in them but these rocks don’t really block the streams. All these rivers run into a great lake. At the end of the lake there is a huge mountain.
I can also see a cat. She sits with her back to the mountain. And there is an eye that watches over the whole scene.
She described my life very accurate. Her words addressed the issue I am dealing with right now:
When will this mess of my life make sense?
My interest that wanders from writing to coaching and from photography to meditation.
In my head I had this thought: To be successful I’ll have to find the one thing that is mine and then follow my passion. I’ve got to be consistent. But how could I when my curiosity drags me from one thing to another. I was neither consistent nor had I found my passion yet.
Well, my wife knows me well. And she told me exactly what I needed to hear:
“Don’t worry”, she said. “Just follow your instincts.” That gave me confidence. I am not an hopeless case. That all of this will make sense in the end.
But let this give a second thought. Isn’t it that all parallels will meet in infinity as mathematics say? It might be that infinity is a little bit to far away for me to wait for. “I want the world and I want it now!” Jim Morrison shouted. “I wanna live and I want it now!” the Ramones sang. These songs I would like to sing along with.
I felt unsatisfied with the answer. Of course I follow my instincts. I always did. There is no other way for me. But if I am going to live my life like this I have to accept that the outcome of my actions doesn’t count. Enjoy the ride is all that there is. And find the beauty in what is.
Learn to be such a good fighter so that you don’t have to fight any more. Then the time has come to face for biggest opponent: your self.
I take pictures since I was a child. For a very long time I denied that my ability to see with my heart and soul could be off value for others.
I knew that my photos were good. Every time I showed one of them to my friends they were very impressed.
I’ll become 44 tomorrow. I decided to give myself a present and become a professional artist.
I will trust in the power of simply doing things. Focus on the joy of my work and do what I am good at and what I love.