The Doors That Will Open

I was angry and mad.  I had to work full time in my new job. That was not what I had in mind. I wanted to have more time to do my creative work. Instead I spend my time giving support for some cloud services. I wasn’t even an expert on this topic. And I know myself: I would lean fully into it. The next six month I would give everything to learn and understand these issues. That will drag my away from writing and photography.

My mindfuck scenario was: I will have no time for myself. My job will take all the time and energy. I won’t be able to do what I enjoy and love the most.

After I had pouted enough a new thought came into my head. What if I would use my experiences as material for my writing. I could put it into a book like: 365 Ways Office Dont Work. It is a complex tool and people find crazy ways to use it.

Or Communication Breakdown. I report on the pitfalls of modern communication. We are short messeging each other, but we miss so much information in that and we are not aware of that. We interpretate what we read and take our interpretation for the truth. But even in a face to face communication we misunderstand each other. So how could we understand each other in a chat?

My wife told me: Everything coalesce your job, your writing your coaching. Everything is one.

Suddenly I realesed what that means.

 

All these Parallels will they meet in infinity?

It started as a joke. Raphaela and I had a hot chocolate at the lovely Kater und Goldfisch in Berlin-Wedding. After finishing I asked her to read the tea leaves. She looked at what was left of the homemade chocolate and explained:

“I see several streams that run parallel. Like rivers. They are in rocks in them but these rocks don’t really block the streams. All these rivers run into a great lake. At the end of the lake there is a huge mountain.
I can also see a cat. She sits with her back to the mountain. And there is an eye that watches over the whole scene.

She described my life very accurate. Her words addressed the issue I am dealing with right now:

When will this mess of my life make sense?

My interest that wanders from writing to coaching and from photography to meditation.

In my head I had this thought: To be successful I’ll have to find the one thing that is mine and then follow my passion. I’ve got to be consistent. But how could I when my curiosity drags me from one thing to another. I was neither consistent nor had I found my passion yet.

Well, my wife knows me well. And she told me exactly what I needed to hear:

“Don’t worry”, she said. “Just follow your instincts.” That gave me confidence. I am not an hopeless case. That all of this will make sense in the end.

But let this give a second thought. Isn’t it that all parallels will meet in infinity as mathematics say? It might be that infinity is a little bit to far away for me to wait for. “I want the world and I want it now!” Jim Morrison shouted. “I wanna live and I want it now!” the Ramones sang. These songs I would like to sing along with.

I felt unsatisfied with the answer. Of course I follow my instincts.  I always did. There is no other way for me. But if I am going to live my life like this I have to accept that the outcome of my actions doesn’t count. Enjoy the ride is all that there is. And find the beauty in what is.

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Im Rosengarten mit Patricia Highsmith, beim Tai Qi oder wenn Ingo Hampe mit dem Fahrrad durch Berlin fährt, erhöhen sich die Alphawellen und spontane Einsichten tauchen auf.

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Cutting Roses with Patricia Highsmith or cycle through Berlin’s Tieragarten with Ingo Hampe to increase your alpha waves.

 

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Ingo Hampes letzte Künstlerverabredung war ein Konzert von Dinosaur Jr. Er berichtet davon, was er von dieser Künstlerverabredung bekommen hat.

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On his last artist date Ingo Hampe went to the Dinosaur Jr show.

This episode is about how to fill up your creative reservoir and how your creativity benefits of the artist date.

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Kennt ihr Der Weg des Künstlers von Julia Cameron?

Schreibt ihr Morgenseiten? Wenn ja, wie nutzt ihr sie für euch?

In dem heutigen Podcast berichte davon, was die Morgenseiten sind und wie ich davon profitiere.

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Do you know The artist Way by Julia Cameron?

Do you use the morning pages and how do you benefit from them?

Here is my story.

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Der Moment, wenn wir vor dem leeren Blatt sitzen und anfangen wollen zu schreiben, ist der Schwierigste Moment im Schreibprozess.
Was lässt uns zögern? Wie können wir ihn überwinden?
Wie können wir das Scheitern als ein Teil des Prozesses akzeptieren?

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Sitting in front of the blank page and start to write was the toughes move I had to make. I got better by the time, but it is still tough to me.

I understood that failure is part of the process. That helped me a lot.

Allow yourself to fail.